Emotional intelligence has a direct impact on our lives and happiness. But what actually constitutes emotional intelligence (EQ) – and can it be learned?
This is emotional intelligence
Emotions are complex, rich in perspective, and multi-layered. It is the essence of human life and every human relationship is based on it. We love, we laugh, we are sad, we cry, we are angry, and sometimes we don’t even know what we feel. It is very important to understand yourself, but also others. However, this understanding varies from person to person, and the technical term for this is emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is about how developed your sensitivity is and how you deal with emotions. Do you have a good understanding of yourself and others? Do you deal with it in a healthy way? How easy is it to approach others and respond to them? These are some key points of emotional intelligence. The opposite is IQ, i.e. intelligence quotient. It assesses intellectual performance, which has nothing to do with emotional intelligence. Anyone who has done well in school does not necessarily have strong emotional intelligence, and vice versa.
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Before you can better understand yourself and others, you must first be able to recognize emotions. This includes the correct interpretation of tone of voice, facial expressions and gestures as well as the correct classification of feelings and expressions. You have to be aware of what you are feeling at this moment or what others might be feeling at this moment. For example, if you can decode other people’s body language, you can even recognize lies.
Understanding emotions depends on recognizing emotions. Anyone who feels a lot but can’t do anything with it often feels helpless. Lack of emotional intelligence promotes misunderstanding. In addition, you don’t know what you can do for yourself or others, or what it means to be empathetic. If you have a basic understanding of emotions, you can use that to your advantage.
The benefits of emotions also include self-care and caring for others. Once needs and intentions are identified, a way to deal with them can be found. Regardless of whether these are negative or positive feelings.
By this we do not mean manipulation. Of course, high emotional intelligence increases the ability to influence others and control their emotions to some extent. But it is primarily about self-regulation. Your own feelings can be controlled to a certain extent. For example, you know what to do to make yourself happy, to get yourself out of a motivational slump, or to maintain control even when you’re angry.
This is how you learn about emotional intelligence
The better your social skills, the better you’ll be able to get along with yourself and others – at every level of life. You will be more successful in your work and the whole thing will also have a positive impact on love. This is not least because you can understand your partner and know how to communicate.
The following competencies are considered emotional intelligence:
- Ability to work within a team
- The ability to control impulses
- Influencing others
- Good conflict management
Can emotional intelligence be learned?
no. The development of emotional intelligence depends on various internal and external factors. It can’t be fundamentally learned, but it can certainly be improved.
1. Foster a connection to yourself and your feelings
The most important thing for emotional intelligence is to understand your emotional world. And then you will also be able to find access to other people. However, emotions can be very overwhelming sometimes. It’s always good to have a little support to organize your thoughts and feelings and be able to understand them better. Journaling is a particularly good and simple method. You can write down events, feelings, and thoughts in a diary, organize them, analyze them, and reflect on them. Find out what makes you happy or sad, what you are grateful for and what might need changing in your life. It is also important to learn to allow your feelings. Negative and positive and awareness of them. Self-love exercises can also help you build a better relationship with yourself and learn how to think. Have you ever tried a personality test? This can be a fun way to interact with yourself effectively.
2. Actively listen to others
Listening carefully to others is not only a sign of respect and concern, but it also helps you better evaluate other people’s feelings. Do you find it difficult to keep up with conversation partners over a longer period of time? Fortunately you can learn that! Of course, the main requirement is that you are actually interested in the person you are talking to. This is how it works:
- Observe and maintain eye contact.
- Pay attention to your body language.
- Avoid distractions.
- Do not interrupt.
3. Ask questions
Show your curiosity and interest not only by active listening, but also by asking questions. Try to look at the bigger picture, ask questions if you don’t understand something, and pay attention to details.
4. Put yourself in other people’s shoes
Understanding others is essential, although it is not always easy. The more life experience you gain, the better you will be able to empathize with others. It also means leaving your comfort zone every now and then. Also, put yourself in the other person’s position. How would you feel about that? Can you understand the whole thing? If not, what could be the reason?
5. Open yourself to others
Being open to yourself and others is good for your mental health and improves your emotional intelligence. This is the only way you can learn to share feelings, understand them better and understand their complexity. Of course, this requires trust. Open up to people close to you, ask for advice, but also learn to trust yourself and listen to your gut feelings.
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