What do other people think about me?
This sentence helps me overcome my fear of evaluation
What do other people think about me? If you ask yourself this question often: Welcome to the club! Here you will learn how to overcome your evaluation anxiety.
Some people seem made to be the center of attention. With eyes fixed on them like rays, they literally enjoy the attention of others. I reverse them. At a party, I like to stand on the edge. I’d rather talk to one person than many, I’d rather watch than be noticed. And I’m actually very happy with it.
However, I sometimes find myself looking at the sunflowers among us with envy or even indignation. I don’t want to be in her place. But I would like to know how they do it. Why don’t they burn? Why do they shine while I’m bright red? How to protect yourself from the scorching heat of other people’s comments? Do you have any other sunscreen? And if so, can I have some of that, please?
What other people think about me is probably very little.
I guess so: There is no universal answer to that, we humans are very different from that. But I recently read a sentence that offers at least a little SPF — and may also help you free yourself from constant worries about what other people think of you. It’s a little mind game:
If you’re worried about how other people might judge you right now, remember that they might be too busy thinking about how they’re going to confront you right now.
Read the sentence again. and again. And therefore! This removes the wind from the sails of fear. Our sense of self may vary, as well as our tendencies to be introverted or extroverted. However, in one thing, we humans are quite alike: perhaps we all have a deep desire to be loved, some only by our reference people, and some by everyone else.
We can also put this mind game to daily scrutiny: if two people with a pimple on their forehead are sitting opposite each other, they are likely to worry more about their “flaw” than they might notice that the other person is.
We are again much more critical of ourselves than others, and admittedly people are also somewhat self-centered. In this case, it’s not so bad. The next time we’re wondering if we look weird, talk weird, or get labeled in the moment, remember that the other person’s thoughts are more likely to be about themselves.
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