Basics in a nutshell
Emotional manipulation is when someone pressures you using feelings and emotions.
Whether it is in a friendship, relationship, or family, emotional manipulation can happen in any type of relationship.
There are many signs of emotional manipulation and tips that you can use to protect yourself from emotional manipulators.
How we feel in a relationship has a huge impact on our confidence and well-being. Feeling wronged, anxious, or even afraid that the other person’s needs may not be met can be coping with emotional manipulation. Learn about the warning signs of this and how you can protect yourself here.
This has probably happened to you before: You meet a friend, you hook up, but then you feel bad and overwhelmed. Do you feel that she has told you things that are not true? Or did you reveal information you really wanted to keep to yourself? Then you have to think about your meeting again: could your girlfriend be manipulating you? These warning signs and tips will help you recognize emotional manipulation and protect yourself.
6 typical signs of emotional manipulation
Whether it is in a partnership, friendship, family, or even at work, emotional manipulation can happen in any personal relationship. If you have been insulted, lied to, or even blackmailed by your counterpart, you must question your relationship. Because in the long run, emotional manipulation can lower our self-esteem and cast doubt on our sanity.
Warning: Are you in a toxic relationship? Is it time to break up? This will tell you if your relationship still has a chance.
Sign 1: Facts lie
Of course, we all don’t want to be lied to, and it’s not always easy to spot a lie. However, if you feel like the other person is telling you things that never happened or denying things that actually happened, this could be a sign of emotional manipulation. Manipulative people are good at lying. Often they do not have a bad conscience when they lie. They want to change the perception of others, convince them of something and put themselves in the right light.
Our advice: If you think you’re being lied to, ask stories smartly. If he finds it difficult to explain, gets nervous, tries to justify himself, or withdraws, then this indicates a lie.
In the clip: How to recognize liars by their body language
Sign 2: malaise
At first glance, emotional manipulators appear to be very outgoing, good-natured, and sociable. They are trying to develop empathy, compassion, and build (supposed) trust in order to extract their vulnerabilities and secrets from others. However, if you notice that your counterpart is looking for certain information that you don’t actually want to reveal, refrain from doing so: otherwise the manipulator may get you in his hands later.
Our advice: Be careful who you trust. Stand up for your needs and only tell what you really want to reveal. Do not allow yourself to be blackmailed and walk away from the person if you feel that they are being manipulated.
In personal relationships, we must make sure that we are doing a good job ourselves. These tips will help you: How to recognize toxic friendships. That way you know someone is jealous of you. Do you suffer from fear of losing? Watch out for these red-flag broken relationships. Is your girlfriend controlling you? This is how you can properly recognize jealousy and respond to it. Are you compatible Every couple should ask themselves these questions.
Sign 3: Attribution of guilt
Do you feel that you are not doing anything right in the relationship or that you are the one responsible for all the problems and conflicts? Then you have to take the observer’s point of view and try to reflect the situation impartially. Manipulative people don’t admit they’ve made mistakes, deny themselves blame, and exaggerate small mistakes made by others. As a result, feelings of guilt and remorse develop among those affected. They want to make up for what (allegedly) happened – and the manipulator benefits from it.
Our adviceBe true to yourself and be aware of your emotional world. If the other person is playing the victim, ask them reflective questions like, “What is the point of blaming me?” or “Is it fair to treat me this way over a small mistake?”
Sign 4: Disrespect
Respectful behavior should be demonstrated in a healthy relationship. If-then statements, insults, and frustrated remarks reveal a lack of consideration for your own needs. So, if you feel pressured by your counterpart to meet his or her expectations, otherwise there will be consequences, manipulative behavior appears to be present.
Our advice: Try not to be threatened or pressured. Confront disrespect objectively and, in the worst case, break off contact. No one deserves to be mistreated by their loved ones for no reason.
Sign 5: Comparisons with others
Phrases such as: “If my friend had done that, it wouldn’t have happened!” or “My girlfriend could have solved this problem better than you!” It can put you and your behavior in a bad light. Strangers or even doubt your sanity. The manipulative person hopes that you will change yourself and your behavior.
Our advice: Insist on not comparing yourself because you are an individual and do not deserve to be hurt by comparisons. Set boundaries and stand up for yourself.
Get hurt by bad people? Now you can post these sayings and quotes on Instagram – after all, we can handle frustration better with encouraging words.
The Sixth Sign: Extraordinary Magic
If you are often showered with compliments by your counterpart before making a wish or request, it is possible to assume a manipulative environment. The exposed gesture hides selfish motives to influence you and gain an advantage for themselves.
Our advice: Favors and gestures from others should not be conditional. Question motives and don’t let yourself be blinded. If you feel like you’re being manipulated, don’t be afraid to say no.
Have you probably already ignored some of the red flags when dating? Here you can find out what the red flags mean and why we often don’t want to acknowledge them.
Emotional manipulation: how to protect yourself from it
Emotional manipulation can have severe consequences and tear our nerves. If you feel that you are being treated emotionally poorly in a relationship, you should set boundaries early on. Here are some tips on how to protect yourself from emotional manipulators:
- Distance yourself as soon as you see signs of emotional manipulation. After all, you deserve the best!
- Don’t trust your counterpart too quickly and only reveal what you really want to reveal.
- Take the position of an observer and ask about the situation: did these feelings come from you, or did they arise under the influence of another person?
- Set your limits that no one may cross, and be true to yourself.
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