The basics in a nutshell
Sometimes, even a seemingly innocuous statement makes us pause. We quickly take the comment personally, and often end up in a whirlwind of thoughts.
Using the psychological trick “Consider the Source” you can reprogram your perspective, stop ruminating, and strengthen your inner peace again.
Sometimes, even a casual sentence can get on our nerves and become a mood killer. Whether it’s a stray remark or a seemingly innocuous comment: If we take something too seriously too quickly, we can spend days in stressful thoughts. We’ll give you 6 helpful tips on how to stop taking things personally!
Psychological trick “Think at the source”: this way you stop taking everything so seriously
Do you always find yourself feeling like a seemingly innocuous statement turns you on and makes you feel depressed for a long time? Maybe you sometimes receive criticism at work, and you quickly take it personally, even though it actually has nothing to do with you as a normal person? So that you can deal with such moments with a different perspective in the future and get out of negative thought patterns, we would like to introduce you to the psychological technique “Think at the Source.”
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The goal is to understand the motivation behind the statement and not always to relate the words said directly to yourself. After all, what is spoken can always be traced back to the source, and as you probably know, words speak more about the sender than the receiver. However, it is not uncommon for us to interpret hurtful words as an attack instead of investigating the motives first: perhaps the person we are talking to is having a bad day and needs to vent their anger no matter who it is at that moment. ? Or perhaps the other person misunderstood what they meant and actually meant something completely different?
The next time you unjustifiably take something personally in a conversation and then dwell on it, try first to adopt a neutral perspective and understand the motivation behind the statement. We always have the choice of treating what is said directly as an attack or first putting ourselves in the shoes of our conversation partner in order to understand his or her insult.
6 tips: This is how you learn to stop taking things personally
You probably know this: You have a relaxed, informal conversation with the person you’re talking to and talk to them about a wide range of topics. You seem to be getting along well and having a nice conversation until a certain phrase unexpectedly surprises you. Even if it’s not personally intentional, it upsets you, starts a torturous cycle of thoughts, and leaves its mark. With these tips, you can stop letting other people’s comments get to you so quickly and stop overthinking.
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1. Boost your self-confidence
Do you find it difficult not to take some jokes or comments personally? Do you often exhibit negative beliefs that cause self-doubt? Then it might be time to boost your self-esteem a little. What I mean is: If we are at peace with ourselves and know our worth, we generally are not easily offended by other people’s statements. It’s time for self love!
Realize that no one knows you as well as you do, so others are welcome to form an opinion about you – but if that opinion doesn’t match reality, you shouldn’t pay attention to it. Always try to distinguish constructive criticism from insulting comments and protect yourself from thoughtless words.
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2. Practice calm
Those who live life in a relaxed manner and do not take it too seriously usually remain calm even in difficult situations – especially if something is going to unnecessarily lead to more conflict. Mindfulness exercises, yoga, and meditation can help you achieve greater peace and serenity. Try to create a routine and think regularly. This way you get to know yourself better and do not accept jokes or sarcastic comments from strangers too quickly on a personal level.
3. Talk openly about your feelings
Are you out with your friends and feeling ignored – or do you suddenly feel insulted by something you say? Then you should rely on open communication and deal with your feelings simply. After all, the person you’re talking to can’t read your mind or immerse themselves in your emotional world. Instead of spending a long time thinking about a seemingly mean comment, you can reveal your feelings and eliminate potential misunderstandings immediately.
advice: Try crafting “I” messages. This way you can express your concerns more gently and avoid the other person feeling verbally attacked. What about “I feel ignored” or “Your statement shocked me a little”? When you do this, you are referring to your own feelings rather than sparking a potential argument with your own wording (such as “You’re being mean to me!”).
4. Try to assess the situation correctly
In some conversations, we tend to respond too hastily, full of emotions, and without really thinking. We quickly get caught up in something and try to defend ourselves or even respond verbally to the other person with hurtful words. But does that really help us at a moment like this? In most cases, we tend to make things worse, right? Possible solution: Take a deep breath, stop for a moment and think about the situation calmly. Think about whether the phrase was really meant that way — or whether you’re misinterpreting it.
5. Take a step back and let go: It’s not always up to you
If the person you’re talking to is having a bad day and is taking their bad mood out on you by making snide comments, it usually has nothing to do with you. You’ve probably had a day where you said something even though you didn’t actually mean it. So what to do? Sometimes only one thing helps: acceptance and distance. Try to let the statement reflect on you at first, and if necessary, process your feelings later.
If the conversation isn’t helping you and if the person you’re talking to repeatedly hurts you, you may want to draw conclusions and keep your distance. After all, some friendships and relationships are only meant to last a certain amount of time. Of course, it’s not always easy to let someone go, but in the long run, letting go can contribute to achieving inner peace and creating space for new things.
6. Ask for advice
Do you find yourself constantly thinking about someone’s casual comments and not sure if you’re being overly sensitive or taking something unnecessarily personally? Then seek advice from friends, family, or professional advice. A neutral perspective often helps us better evaluate certain life situations.
notice: Criticism can of course also be justified, and should not always be simply ignored. Perhaps it will serve as an incentive for you to question your behavior and develop your personality. Professional therapists can help us find our way out of insecurities, not take things so seriously and live a carefree life.
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